How Can I?

How to purge you from these thoughts?

It would have been simpler to cut off a limb because either way you have left me incapacitated. I am unmoving; rigid and constantly inconsistent. I am topsy-turvy, spinning out of control while trying to gain some foothold in this world of only thoughts of you. 

I really need to get a grip. I need to accept reality; I need to stop wallowing and allowing fantasy and whimsical notions from clouding my judgement. 

I should ignore this heart. I should just overlook this nonsense that I call “feelings” and face the fact that these are a mere concoction of the hopeless, stupid romantic in me. 

This is it, I can feel the tide swelling. It is an awakening of something buried from long ago. I am pathetic so I think I just have to learn to be apathetic again.

I need to not mind you or seek your face in the crowd. I need to stop the unceasing replays in my head. I need to stand up to my heart and just hide it away. I need to hide myself away. 

But first, how to purge you from these thoughts…?