This is My Psychosis
Oh, how this crush has gone nuclear!
I have been quiet for weeks or at least, it sure feels like it. I haven’t been constantly blogging as I used to. I guess I am too caught up inside my head that I have somehow corralled myself within my own thoughts. In short, I know why I am having writer’s block because I am the very person who is blocking these myriad of thoughts from flowing out. Maybe because I’m over thinking; maybe I’m not even thinking at all…Or, it could be that I am afraid of what these thoughts might spell out when organized or unleashed as they are meaning to be let loose.
I sense a desperation in me. This fuels the frustration brought on by unmet expectations. I am like a raging storm at sea. I am like a collector of poisonous snakes who is on the verge of getting bitten. I am that kid who is running super fast with a fork in her hand. I am a hazard to myself and is increasingly becoming a thorn on my friends’ side -because of my sullen spells and unstable mood swings. I am laughing one minute and with a flip of a switch, I’m Debby Downer.
I am no stranger in this maze of my own design. However, it has been a long while since I’ve actually been into it this deep. Worst thing? I led myself here. I have not blindly wandered into the thicket! I proudly told myself to brave it; forge on! Fortes in Fide! Then I got lost… boo!
I know the way out; I know where to go… but the question is, do I even want to?