This is My Psychosis


What is it with guys and their indecent proposals? You have girlfriends for crying out loud! Others can actually get other women easily if they wanted to… so why ME?

Do I really look that desolate and lonely? Do I come off as desperate? Frankly, I’m confused because I certainly don’t look or act that way. Also, I don’t throw myself at guys, most especially guys who are attached. But no, these morons just keep coming and coming. EF-OFF!

Some people would tell me that I should be flattered and I should feel really sexy or special or beautiful but really, these guys just make me feel cheap! I can never find anything pleasing with one night stands and meaningless dalliances with attached and unattached men! Yes, the sex part might be mind-blowing and awesome but that just is not who I am.

Sex? Yes but with a person who loves me and I love back. I want intimacy. I want commitment. I want to worship and be worshipped body, mind and soul by a person who will do so every day and every night for as long as I live. (of course, it’s a mutual worshipping session-believe me!) But with random guys? Without emotional attachment?

Heck no!

I know some people tell me that I should be more lenient and get out there, have fun- God knows I’m old enough. But I really can’t bring myself to do it. I have been tempted before but I always find a way to stop myself from falling prey to guys who are like that. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I want the real thing- goddamit! And if a person thinks that I can be swayed or that I can do the deed with him (no strings attached) then he does not deserve anything from me.

I don’t judge people who do one night stands. I don’t care what other people do with their sex lives. I say go do what you want! Whatever floats your boat. Really!

I know that I’ll probably be frustrated, alone and sex-deprived for a long, long time… It sounds dreadful but really, all I want is “making love” that comes with LOVE. Is that too much to ask? Am I a silly, hopeless romantic? Am I that demented that I turn down offers from good looking committed guys?

I might be silly and demented but I will never be an accomplice to a crime that breaks other girls’ hearts -yes, even if their other halves are cheating on them as well. I will always strive to stick to my principles… It’s me and that’s that.

(Hmm…some people might even say that all these rants are coming from lack of sex and sexual tension- ha ha ha… )


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This entry was posted on September 13, 2012 by in psyKOIsis and tagged , , , , , , .
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