This is My Psychosis

All By Myself…

I never really did enjoy the party scene. I mean, if you are going to tag me along for a typical friday night party or clubbing, I’ll most probably pass. I really would rather be somewhere laid back and comfortable (more importantly, somewhere you can hear the person you’re talking to)… I am claustrophobic when it comes to clubs and dance floors. I don’t like huge crowds where I have to weave my way around them just to get to the bathroom and then wait in a long line before I can actually pee… I don’t like other people touching me b accident in clubs, skin to skin, especially if everyone is covered in sweat from all that body grinding and low-air conditioning horse power. I don’t like the loud music BUT I like the booze…

Do not get me wrong. I love having fun and I want to have fun. It’s just that my definition of fun is mighty different. I like going to the beach and just relax. That’s super fun. I like swimming with fish or drinking beer while soaking up the rays and getting sunburned. I like the smell of the sea on my hair and my skin. I like the feel of the salty spray of water. I rhapsodize about the beach, waves, sand, sea and air because I am a beach bum- a beach person. I like discovering other places (and their beaches) and just being lost without a plan. I like reading, discussing things and actually have a real conversation -about anything! I don’t care if we’re just sitting on a bench by the sea or on the sidewalk watching cars pass by- conversing; arguing; debating; laughing; having fun and creating silly ideas.

Bottom line, I don’t want to be cooped up -be it on a dance floor or a club. I want to see skies and sea. I want to be able to listen, hear, digest and share a comfortable silence from time to time. I like to see the person’s eyes when I talk to them. I like to be able to feel comfortable laughing my loudest and just aim cheap shot jokes. I want adventure. I want the unfamiliar. I want an epic moment of fun. I like to be with people who can talk to me; argue with me and just be as goofy as I am.

There are plenty of reasons why I sometimes go to places by my lonesome. For the most part, I do that to avoid writing articles at home because I end up making love to my bed and pillows. Next, I’m anti-social and I don’t have THAT many friends that I regularly hang out with. Plus, they have their own lives and are busy with work. We only get to see each other when we really plan it. Also, I’m quite comfortable with the silence that comes with being alone. I don’t mind conversations or company -I welcome them when they arrive. I think my being “alone” is not necessarily a choice… but it just is.

I don’t know if there’s anything the matter with me. What do you think?

My girl friends will only say one thing: “You Need A Man!”

Well, perhaps … I do…

The problem/question is… WHERE? WHEN and WHO?



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This entry was posted on August 15, 2012 by in psyKOIsis and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
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