This is My Psychosis
Write a letter to your 16-year-old self and post it. Detail your journey.
Frankly, when I decided to do this dare, I was thinking of a lot of things to tell my younger self. I wanted it to be smooth, funny and insightful but then I don’t know what happened. It’s a bit scatter-brained and in-cohesive. But I figured, it’s as honest as it can get. There are times when I feel like I haven’t aged at all and I am stuck in a younger state of mind. Heck, I could be writing this letter to my present self!
Writing this letter made me realize that I am not one who looks back and regrets a lot of things. Or, if I did regret some things or have wishes and what might have been’s, I do not let it bog me down. It’s in the past and since it has been a part of my growing up years, I am thankful instead because I am able to become who I am today. You’ll read about it at the end of my letter.
It was a fun, short but sweet moment of reminiscing. Then I realized, I forgot a lot of them. I think I remember more of my group of friends (best friends), being drunk a lot and skipping class…Nevertheless, this was a fun dare (and the easiest one for me to do!) Enjoy folks! 😀
My Dearest 16-year-old self,
What does one write to her younger self? Do I begin with a quote from a famous person or a profoundly deep statement to mark the fact that I am wiser than I have been a thousand years ago? I am not really sure but I guess I will start by saying that you did pretty well. Yes, you were pretty anti-social and awkward as well as sheepish, but you did strive to not be the ultimate wallflower all through high school.
Now, should I begin the part where I state all my regrets and tell you what you should have done and what you shouldn’t have missed? Do I berate my younger self for not being the overachiever you could have been if only you put more importance on studying and participating in class instead of making sleep your top priority? Do I start telling you how you should never have been shy, awkward and too conscious of what people might think if you slip, fell on your ass or make a boo boo?
We both know you could have done more…But do not worry since I do not regret being you. We met some great folks and had some fun times, didn’t we? We rocked senior year even! We forged great friendships that still last to this day. I think all in all, 16 was a good year.
However, I wish you were more of a lady back then and did not act so tough and had weird haircuts (and fashion sense) You could have been a hottie if you just thought about being one. But no, you had to be one of the guys and you had to be the girl who doesn’t get boyfriends or puppy loves in high school. Yes, I think you are part of the “loser” click but you were never pigeonholed since you had people you spoke to from the A-listers and the “beautiful people”… But still, I do not regret being the wallflower who was not so invisible. I will not dwell on the woes of a 16 year old…because everything that has happened have led me to who I have become today… a weirdo? psychologically imbalanced? neurotic? humorous? over-confident? proud? beautiful? sexy? loving? hopeless romantic? writer? singer? blogger? still single??!?! (@&#*(#!!) HAHAHA
I don’t want to make this too long. I do not like the habit of dwelling in the past and reopening old wounds of maybe and what ifs. They are only for those who choose to live in the past so that they can have something to pin the blame on for being who they are today.
Bottom line, I would just like you to know that you are beautiful -awkward, wrong body type and idealistic that you are. You are smart, funny and fun. You have great friends and great adventures. You are AWESOME!!! Yes, it might have taken me a couple more centuries to realize this but it’s never too late to tell you this. I love you!
Your older, more awesome, beautiful, sexier, smarter, wiser and more neurotic self