PSY-KOI-LOGY

This is My Psychosis

Chasing Pavements and Falling Flat on One’s Face!

Yes, it absolutely sucks that there always seemed to be an abundant supply of “un-reciprocated love” than “happily ever after!” But what can we do? It’s the hand that has been dealt to those of us who have been single since time immemorial. Not that this is a bad thing because there are a lot of great reasons to be single and unattached via “ball and chain” if you will…but then again, there are perks when it comes to having a partner and being in love. However, this will not be a blog about being single or whatnot… this is a blog about women or ladies who cannot seem to just find the proper decorum when it comes to guys.

In short, those who shamelessly chase men.

Now, before you start thinking of ways to kill me or sanction me for this blog, let me just say that I am not generalizing and I am absolutely not defaming anyone [at least, not anyone you might know! LOL] This is just a form of opinion and observation and my one-two-three cents worth. I am not being a feminist. And you should know, I have had my share of moments when I was so gaga over this guy that I forgot my senses and just played the chasing game with him. It was a tug of war that I will forever remember and will never play again.

So there -do not judge me as I judge those who I want to blog about [LOL -just kidding!] But seriously, this is just a way for me to express my thoughts. You might not agree with me or you might -it does not matter. I’m just a blogger in the blog world.

Here goes…

Ladies, ladies, ladies… are we prima donnas or are we hunters of a different kind? Do we sit patiently or prettily and wait for the men to come to us or do we exercise our “independence” and prowl, chase and capture? Generally, there is nothing wrong with going after what you want so there should not be anything wrong with going after WHO you want, right?

Of course. It’s a dog-eat-dog-eats-another’s-dog world! If you are weak-willed and afraid of taking life by the horns and giving it a good what for, you end up with the hand-me-downs or the least-likely-to-succeed-at-anything award. Therefore, it is very okay to be Xena Warrior Princess.

But before you go and don your best leather ensemble and experience total discomfort, remember to set perimeters for yourself. We ladies are an emotional bunch and when we get excited, we GET EXCITED! It’s like 50% off on Macy’s or something! I am not talking about shopping here but the fact that when a guy expresses interest in us [or at least, we THINK he did] there are some women who hear this “ding” or siren inside their heads and it makes them guy-crazy. It turns them into desperate cheetahs that even before the guy can make a move, the girl is already on second base.

It’s flattering and heady when a guy says you are hot, sexy or that he actually likes you BUT, this does not mean that there will be a follow-through of some sort. He will not automatically get down on one knee and ask for your hand in marriage. He might get down on one knee for some booty call but other than that, he might just be expressing a compliment or emotion [ which might be a rare occurrence -like a lunar eclipse or whatnot!]

Unfortunately, there are ladies who instantly get their hearts and minds worked up that they end up being too flirty, too clingy and too desperate for words. They make themselves totally and unconditionally available for the guy [just because he said she was pretty!] They even take the initiative and offer the “goods” even when the opposite sex has not even showed any signs of taking things further than actually saying “you’re hot!”. [But hey, if both minds are only on the subject of a quick tumble in the bundle then I guess that’s fine -it’s the trend with most hook-ups, right?]

However, there are those who are expecting more than just a smile or a touch or a hug. There are those who think that it is already the blossoming of an undying love -a romance that is one for the books. And what happens? They shamelessly throw themselves at the guy [literally and figuratively] and then even if they are not getting any of the attention that they expect, they continuously grovel and pathetically follow him like puppies.

In fairness, there are also mean guys who lead girls on -especially those whom they have tricked and have gotten under their evil spell. They give the right amount of compliment and affection, just enough to have the girl on all fours and drugged -but never the emotional range of more than a millimeter or so. This probably gives them the power to deny everything when the situation gets out of hand. [READ: “I never said I was that into you” or “I just said you had pretty eyes -I did not say let’s get together!”] But in reality, he had been giving the girl encouragement and enough bait to make her forget her pride and self-worth.

See? I am being objective since I am about to say that there are different scenarios and different reasons why women become dumb and chase after a guy. And again, I will say that there are times when they have the right to do so. The problem is when it becomes too pathetic and painful to watch.

I cannot seem to stomach seeing a grown woman or a young lady waiting on a guy with wide-eye wonder and awe… even when the girl is standing outside the door like a little dog waiting to be let into the house. I hate it when a woman is content to just sit on the corner and expectantly wait for a man to throw her a bone -when he remembers to. I mean, come on! That is just not right. I hate it when a guy is stringing a girl along just because he needs the attention or her money. I hate it when a guy says the all the right words but all for the wrong reasons. But…what I hate most is when the girl does not ever see that it is the case and still, she is hell-bent on not giving up the chase.

Oy.

We are meant to be treated with respect and to be able to achieve this, we should treat ourselves with respect! If we allow ourselves to be blinded or led along, then we will be deaf, blind and dumb for a guy who does not even care about our feelings or our womanhood.

Ladies, ladies, ladies -remember, action speaks louder than words. Yes, words are sweet, addictive and awesome to hear but we have to learn to hone our abilities to sift through that quagmire and keep our head above water. The need to be attached or to have a boyfriend or husband should never overshadow our rationale; our common sense and our sense of pride.

Let us not chase after somebody who we think likes us. Let us not pine for that someone who is merely stringing us along. Let us not gawk with rose-colored glasses and hopeful sighs at somebody who tells you that he likes you but has already told the same thing to all the other girls within a 2 mile radius! True, he might genuinely like you but he also likes the other girls the same way without the intention of actually being serious with anybody.

Remember ladies, the guy who will truly love and appreciate us will never lead us to a merry chase and he will most certainly not make us grovel or do anything desperate.

Let us try to be objective and not let ourselves fall instantly. It is a bit unnerving how we allow ourselves to foolishly believe sweet words without really enough merit. Even when he says “I love you”, has he actually shown real affection? Are all his actions worthy of the phrase? Or is he some joker who simply knows how to get under your skin and wind you up like a brainless doll?

I know it is tricky and I admit, we all have fallen for this very same trap. Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on us. [I know it’s weak -I forget the actual phrase! LOL] But it’s something to that effect.

The important thing is to be wiser; to know your self-worth. You have to know when to stop being a dimwit and start acting like the Amazon woman that you are! Stop pushing yourself towards a guy who will never know just how special and wonderful you are. Cease and desist throwing yourself haplessly into his arms [even when they are not wide open] because he might give you the time of day but only a fraction of that, never more!

And WE deserve more. Oh, so much more!

I know how it feels to be sitting on the sideline, waiting for your turn to get picked. I have been benched for more than a couple of seasons. It is lonely, frustrating, exasperating, inferiority-complex-developing, psychologically challenging etc… but it is not a reason to throw one’s self to the sharks and get mangled. It might get extremely difficult to believe that someone great will be coming over to pick you and sweep you off your feet. I experience this challenge every single [i hate this word] day. I know how it feels to be scared and worried that I will be alone forever or become a super-hot-sexy-spinster! But, I never lose hope and I never lost faith.

I take off my rose-colored glasses but I never try to eradicate the hopeless romantic in me. I pine and I desperately wait for my prince charming but I do not go about chasing men who I think might be “him”. Yes, I have crushes and I do flirt [at least, if I know how! LOL] but I never beg for their attention; I never go all out gaga over him and constantly vie for his attention like some fool. I admire from afar. I smile giddily when he gives me that short time of day. I revel in sweet romantic bliss when he talks to me and makes me feel like i’m the only girl in the room. But, at the end of the day, I keep my sanity in check and I keep my feet grounded.

I know where I stand. I know what I deserve and I know what I want. I am sometimes content with living vicariously through others’ great romantic stories but I am strong enough to wait it out and I trust that God has someone great for me [although, i constantly pray he is extremely HOT!] But I wish some of the women/ladies I know had the same sentiment. I wish they would realize that they are not getting anywhere or if they have been thrown a bone, it will not be anything more than that.

Do you live for those little tidbits of moments; those short and cheap thrills while looking and being like a fool? Or would you rather wait for your OH-MY-GOD-THIS-IS-IT-I-AM-THE-QUEEN-OF-HIS-WORLD moment patiently and with much pride?

Come on, it’s a no brainer, right?

Choose the higher road, ladies! We are WOMEN and we deserve the piece of the WORLD!

Doumo!

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This entry was posted on March 11, 2012 by in psyKOIsis and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .
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