This is My Psychosis
Expectations… people have lived lonely lives because of expectations.
If we let others’ POV and expectations rule our decisions and the way we see ourselves, then we will be living a life behind bars. We would be forever slaves to their whims and constantly looking over our shoulders wondering if they approve of the move we just made. We would not be able to do what we want and get what we ache for.
But, in as much as others’ expectations limit us, there is a flip side to this. Something good can come out of being conscious of what the people (who matters to us) expects from us.
We get to aim higher; live better and push farther. We are able to see new things that we would not have recognized as something we can have if it weren’t for people telling us that “we can do better!” Our deep concern for the opinion of others can limit us but at the same time provide us with unlimited possibilities. We become UNLIMITED ourselves.
The tricky part is balancing and knowing whether we want this unlimited-ness. Are we going to be happy aiming high? Are we aiming too far that we forget happiness? Do we let greed and ambition steer us towards fulfilling expectations? Or do we lead with our hearts and let what completes us rule..?to hell with their aspirations for us?
It would be easier if one’s expectations of us coincides with what we believe we deserve. If our parents or family expects us to marry somebody with a profession or somebody of wealth and worth, do we shun every regular joe who do not fall under that category? If parents expects us to be in this profession or to make a name for ourselves, do we abandon our bohemian ideals and become sell outs? Do we diligently dive in and stick with a college course we are not fond of? Do we stick it out and LEARN to love what they love for us because they know it’s going to be what’s best for our future?
I do not let society affect my decisions. I do not let other people’s opinions dictate the way I choose to live my life. But, I do value the opinions of those who I know, cares for me. I do understand why my grandmother would say that I marry a specific type of person because I expect this for myself as well. I understand the nagging of my mother to stop working on this job and just find something better because- there is something better. I respect people’s regard for me and I let my friends be who they are without expecting anything from them.
I hear. I listen. I understand…
…but still, with a deep sense of my individuality; of what I want and where I want to go. Sometimes I’m lucky enough that it is towards the same direction as theirs.
It will always be a tug of war that we all will participate in no matter where we are in life and who we are with.
The funny thing is that when we are now wearing the shoes of our elders and are sitting on that throne, we find ourselves on the other end of the rope, tugging our own children or friends towards the opposite direction they intend [or they think they intend] to go.
The question is: How will we handle it?