This is My Psychosis
How was your Valentine’s Day?
I was gearing towards an exciting, fun and activity-filled post-valentine blog but unfortunately, I will be miserably failing at it. Oh, the day was okay and fun even though it started a bit off. There was a certain humming in the air and in a weird way, my surrounding was kind of subdued; I was inside a bubble or snow globe, if you will. The sky was grayish but the sun was peeking once in a while. Bottom line, it was like the world was still and spinning fast at the same time.
I woke up without really looking forward to dragging myself out of bed and going to school to teach. I took my sweet time in the shower but still managed to arrive in school on time…which does not go the same way with my students. Half the class was late and the reporters were unprepared. But since one of my closest friends welcomed me with a bouquet of roses, I was in a happy mood which resulted to “No Classes” mode.
So, I had around 3 hours to kill time before my luncheon meeting with the Bride’s mother. [We’re singing at a wedding in Eden on the 18th.] Naturally, killing time means hanging out, laughing like hyenas and playing Temple Run with some of my students/friends. Again, the atmosphere was subdued and I was glad it felt like a natural, nonsense day. Finally, 11:30am came around and I was off to that meeting at Lachi’s.
I arrived early -as usual- and waiting became somewhat excruciating since I was surrounded by couples on dates of their own. If you have read my pre-valentine’s blog, you would understand that at this point, jealousy’s ugly head was starting to emerge. I busied myself with details and doodled. I was maintaining my nonchalant and aloof manner but I guess I know that the stirrings of sadness and melancholy [barf!] have begun to plant its seed.
The meeting went well and the mother of the bride really was wonderful to chat with. It was just like talking to an aunt or a mom. We hashed out the details of the wedding and then enjoyed a good meal. At least I can say that I had somebody treat me out to eat for Valentine’s! [har-har-har] After the meeting, she took me back to school and I would’ve proceeded to have class if it were not for my wayward students. They forgot about their report and I got pissed and cancelled class.
It was a good thing that I had things to do in a bank and friends came with me to achieve my TTD’s. We ended up having fried tacos and nachos [gah, yes, this was just a short hour or 2 after my lunch!] If that is not a sign of foreboding sadness and depression, I do not know what is. Finally, we went back to school and I decided to just wait the rest of the afternoon in the music theater. I was thoroughly entertained by my really funny student. He was doing these series of dance moves for a song the choir is going to sing in a competition. I consider it the highlight of my day since I could not stop laughing like a lunatic. Yes. For. Real.
Finally, I could not deny the nagging feeling of sadness and a certain heaviness in me [reasons which are too personal to include in this blog] so, I decided to just head on home and watch The Vampire Diaries season 1. Yes, me and the Salvatore brothers were going to have a date. I arrived home, turned on the AC and proceeded to wallow in my depressing thoughts while salivating over Damon Salvatore [Ian Somerhalder] I finished with red, puffy eyes and the sniffles. [I did not get to finish the entire first season though…] Then, I went to sleep thinking of skipping today with vengeance. I just wanted to stay under the covers and sleep Wednesday off.
But, I had responsibilities and errands to run. I could not wallow and hide from the world because I was feeling ultimately crappy. It hurt to get up and I cried in the shower -for reasons I do not know. However, I still made it out of the house at the designated time. And it was a good thing I did too since I got to have my post-valentine’s date with these awesome P.S. people. [Really, I don’t know what I’ll do without them. I think I’m dangerously close to being clingy with these weirdos hahaha I miss them if I don’t see them in a day! I always have fun and I feel light when I am with them. Right now, they are helping me with a lot of coping that I need to do… and with that, I end the blog on a happy note. P.S. I Love You!]