This is My Psychosis
There is nothing as disheartening as the feeling of having lost sight of true happiness. Everyday, there is a need to look around and seek inspiration. You try to find it in every face that you come across or in the laughter or words of people close to your heart. Unfortunately, even a sea of different faces cannot compel you. Friends and loved ones sometimes fail as well. Until we end up looking to the sky in hope that a huge meteor will come crashing down on earth and flatten us.
Is it the material wealth that motivates you? Is it the laughter, hugs and kisses of people you love? What do you get up for every morning and what are you thankful for before you close your eyes to sleep? Do you even know who to thank? What decisions to make? Which road to take? When you think you know the answer, are you sure of it?
I am rambling, I know. I have no sense of direction with regards to this piece. I have tried to let go of some things and baggages. I have forced myself to smile and laugh. I have even reminded myself [countless of times] of how much I have to be grateful and thankful for! But there is a missing piece; a longing deep inside the repository of my heart and mind.
Those who know me might have an idea of what this missing piece is. I know what is missing. I don’t need to speak it out loud or cry it to the heavens. I have prided myself for being strong, independent and not afraid of being alone. However, I find it tiresome and lonely to be found standing on the same street, waiting for the same bus for years.
Sigh. I have told myself that this blog would not be permeable to my sad musings and moments of loneliness. I find it overly dramatic and irritating. Pathetic. I can actually feel myself gagging…hence, I blog in public places to avoid the chances of manifesting projectile vomit. LOL
It must be the month of February. I don’t know. HAHAHA EEW…
Okay, this post has gone far enough. STOP!
I hope everyone will be more fortunate than I am on D day! 😀