This is My Psychosis

Things I Wish My Younger Self Knew…

As a continuation of my previous blog, here are some other thoughts and advice I wish my younger self knew…

#3 Fall Down -a lot!

Okay, I have to admit, I did fall down a lot when I was a kid. I was thin, frail and accident-prone. Yes, it was such a colorful childhood -mostly hues of blue, black and purple. I cannot fully recall the feeling but whenever my uncle would tell a story about my being inept, they would all laugh. I do remember some incidents wherein I fell off the back of a vehicle and crashed into the hard pavement. I also remember crying after that, in front of the mirror while grinding sand and rock in my mouth. Let me just tell you that for most of the “crying” part, I was really just observing how I looked when I cried. I also remember falling down the stairs (7 or 9 steps) twice. The first time, I slipped and good thing one of my uncles were there to catch me before I hit the hard marble floor. The second time, I deliberately rolled myself down. [Yes! What was I thinking, right? Masochism definitely manifested early!]

But, I don’t mind and I don’t think getting bruised and falling down a lot [as well as getting my head bumped a million times] affected my development [at least, I don’t think so…] What I want my younger self to realize is that it’s okay to fall down and be embarrassed in front of people. It is also good to fail once in a while as this reminds us that we have a lot to learn. It’s all about how you get up and how you learn from this fall. You can get a lot of failing grades; you might not make the cut and you certainly will fail in a lot of your life’s endeavors but THAT’S OKAY! You just do not have to let these things define you nor limit you.

And yes, if you want to be adventurous and free fall, dive off a cliff, jump off an airplane and do something daring -go ahead! Do no be afraid of adventure and do not be afraid of trying.

#4 SLEEP -A LOT!!!

This is probably one of the greatest regrets I have in terms of childhood activities I did not take to heart. It is natural to want to be with your friends [or in my case, my cousins] and play all day long. I remember dreading the words “It’s time for a nap” when I was a kid because this meant that I would have to pull myself away from having fun and sleep. I used to hate sleep but now that I am all grown up, I feel like sleep is something you have to earn or work hard for. Sleep has become a luxury that we adults seem to have trouble experiencing, especially since we have nothing but work in our minds. Nowadays, when we want to sleep, we can’t. Even when it is time to sleep, we still can’t because of a gazillion deadlines and what-nots.

I do not know if taking every chance of sleep I could get as a child would have made any difference now. But, I know that I wish we had this type of mandate as grown ups. I wish we would be asked [forced, if need be] to get a noon-time nap! I wish I could just sleep whenever I want to and not worry about missing things or wasting time.


One of the weird stories they tell me of my childhood was the way I used to eat. Again, you might not believe me when I tell you this but I actually was a malnourished child. I was thin -as in reed thin. In fact, I have relatively small bones. The only difference now is that these frail, sexy bones [are] enclosed with a lot of fat! [As of press time, I am currently embarking on a mission -DIET or DIE TRYING!] Like I said, I did not eat a lot as a kid. My relatives would tell me that when it was time for eating, I would run around and play and then just approach the table to take my bite of food before running off again. After a few minutes, I would return for another spoonful. This process is repeated until all the food on my plate is gone. Once the plate is clean, I would then spit out everything on it. Yes, every bit and morsel of every spoonful.

My mom said that I had this weird trick of being able to fit all of the food they made me eat inside my mouth through my gums. They never could tell me how I did it and how come they could not notice the stored food inside when I came back for a bite. So, what does this mean? [No, I am not an alien life form -though, I sometimes wish to be!]

I never really liked eating when I was young. I even had to go on trips to the hospital to get dextrose and I also had ulcer as well. Now, as I think back [though I am not a medical expert] If I had eaten a lot and actually chewed as well as swallowed food, my metabolism would have gotten a work out and it would have been more active than it is today. In short, I could have been a bit thinner and healthier or at least, have a better, faster metabolism.[Again, this is all based on hearsay and then some -diet and medical experts are welcome to confirm or negate!] I also am a very picky eater -even now. I cannot eat things with weird textures and I tend to order the same stuff in restaurants. However, I am proud to say that I have ventured into more exciting food-gasms in my current adult life.

So these are some of the things I can think of now. I know I still have a lot of things to say to my younger self but currently, I’m drawing a blank.



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This entry was posted on January 29, 2012 by in psyKOIsis and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .
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